The Best Lessons Women Have Taught Me
I learned almost all of the ways to navigate life through other women. Whether it was listening to grown folk's business while I was at the shop on a Saturday afternoon, eavesdropping on my mom's conversations, or simply people watching, there were so many lessons to learn. Here are a few.
Always have your own. It started with my mom telling me that when I went out on a date, to always have $20 with me, just in case he suddenly "can't find his wallet", to call a cab if you need to leave, etc. No matter what, always have a little something tucked away in case of emergency. Ensure that you're always able to take care of yourself, even if it's minimally.
Be aware of the male gaze. Not in a weird, attention seeking way, but in the way of being aware of your surroundings. Be careful. It's a shame that this even has to be on my radar, but that just speaks to the world we live in.
Friendly does not equal friend. There is a difference between someone who is nice to you, who you laugh with and may even hang out with, and someone you can call when you need advice, to vent, or to cry. Do your best to distinguish between the two early on to save yourself the hassle of misinterpreting a friendly person as your friend, or a person who wants to be a real friend to you as just being nice.
Always keep one pair of pantyhose. You just never know when the occasion calls for covered legs. I know it's 2017 and I haven't worn stockings in about a decade, but I guarantee there's always a pair in my drawer.
Not everyone has your best interest at heart. This harkens back to the "friendly doesn't equal friend" thing. Ultimately, the average person is out to help themselves. Self preservation. It sounds cynical, but assuming or expecting someone to care more about another more than themselves opens one up to potentially being unnecessarily hurt or embarrassed, or generally inconvenienced. Care for others, do for those who can't do for themselves, but always be prepared to solely take care of yourself.
"Woman" does not equal "less than". Many a person would have women to believe that we, with our baby growing, cramp enduring, empire building, booger wiping, diaper changing, business running, child raising, glass ceiling shattering selves are some how "weaker". Don't drink the Kool-Aid!
Invest in your relationships with other women. Women have long been pit against each other, but like the African proverb says, "If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together." Lean on those in your life who have proven themselves willing and dedicated to helping you carry your load, just as you help them carry theirs. Pour in to those people who fill you up when you're running empty. Talk. Text. Keke in the group chat. Encourage. I don't mean taking a trip or going to the club. I mean praying for and WITH your home girl. Calling your friend in the middle of the night crying and she's immediately out of bed and listening. Real #squadgoals.
What have your learned from the women in your life? I'd love to hear about it in the comments!