Fear of Success

   While I fear success, I feel like this is the strangest fear to have. Knowing that God has plans for my life is a comfort. Knowing that I'm destined for greatness is intimidating. Not knowing how I'm going to get from here to there is confusing and scary. I never thought I would fear impending success; it never crossed my mind. But here we are with more questions than answers.

Will I be good enough to deserve and handle it all?

How am I going to get there?

WHAT IS "THERE"?!

   One of my favorite pastimes is reading movie plots, just so I can find out what happens. Why? Curiosity, the desire to not sit through the movie to find out, and I'm a control freak. This all means that for me, going on the journey is almost akin to a new form of torture. I can't skip it. Can't peek ahead and see what happens. I can only live and discover along the way. So what do I do? What do I rest on when I'm completely unsure? When I don't know if I'm going the right way or learning everything I need to know?

   What I use as an anchor is my faith and my work. I know I'm going somewhere, and my work is aimed at simply being the best that it can be. I work. I try. I stumble. I hesitate. A LOT. But I still keep going. I made up my mind to not stop. I can't. I won't. And whatever I'm going to get, it's already mine because God designed it so. That's where I rest my thoughts and fears. Or at least I'm constantly trying to. Retrospect has caused me to realize that rising to the occasion is a running theme throughout my life. Whatever task I'm given, will I rise to the level of dedication, skill, and focus that the task requires of me or crumble back into my comfort zone?

Do you fear success? How do you deal with it? I'd love to hear from you in the comments.